Shifting into a Growth Mindset by Facing Our Fears

Before we launch into talking about facing our fears with a growth mindset, we need to define both a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.

HISTORY OF A GROWTH MINDSET

The term “growth mindset” comes from psychologist Carol Dweck’s 2006 book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. In this book, Dweck talks about what people believe about their intelligence and learning, coining the phrases fixed mindset and growth mindset.  

According to Dweck, a fixed mindset means that a person believes he or she is born with a set amount of knowledge and capabilities:

In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort.

(Dweck, 2015)

On the other hand, a person with a growth mindset believes that he or she can grow and evolve and change through training, learning and/or hard work:

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.

(Dweck, 2015)

FIXED AND GROWTH MINDSETS TENDENCIES

Now that we know what a fixed mindset and a growth mindset are, let’s explore how these two mindsets manifest themselves.

If we have a fixed mindset, we tend to:

• Avoid challenges
• Give up easily
• Feel threatened by others
• Ignore feedback
• Believe we are who we are and that we’ll never change
• Say “This is hard,” or “I can’t do this”
• See failure as the limit to our abilities
• Shy away from things we don’t know

In contrast, if we have a growth mindset, we tend to:

• Persevere in the face of failure
• Make an effort to acquire new skills
• Be inspired by other peoples’ successes
• Embrace challenges
• Accept criticism and learn from it
• Say “This may take some time and effort, but I can do it.”
• See failure as an opportunity for growth
• Acknowledge and embrace weaknesses

Do either one of these resonate with you? Can you see yourself in either of these lists? There is no right or wrong answer here. Take some time and be truly thoughtful about your mindset. If you’re like me, you may find that you are a combination of both.

EMBRACE THE GROWTH MINDSET

If you looked at the two lists above and find that you relate most to the description of a person with a fixed mindset, but you wish you could be more like the person who has a growth mindset, the good news is – you can!

One of the biggest obstacles that keep us from moving from “fixed” into “growth” is fear. Fear is a nasty little four letter word that holds us back from achieving our dreams and becoming the person we are meant to be. Fear tells us we aren’t good enough or worthy enough. Fear tells us that someone will judge us. Fear tells us that if we try, we will fail. Fear makes us avoid challenges, shy away from things we don’t know or understand, and say, “I can’t do this.”

Naming your fear is a step in the right direction. Once you name it, you can acknowledge that it’s there. And then guess what?! Once you acknowledge it, you can do the damn thing anyway.

An example from my personal experience:

I started CrossFit three years ago. While I felt like I had a growth mindset about actually going to the gym and learning new ways of working out, I found that I would constantly say about certain movements, "I can't do that." And true, there were some things I simply could not do. Either I had never done them before and so they were completely foreign to me, or I wasn't quite strong enough to do them yet. 

But more than that, I was afraid people would see me try a movement and fail and that they'd judge me. Basically I was afraid to fail and look like an idiot. So I let it end there. I kept saying, "I can't do that," when what I should have said was, "I can't do that yet."

Fast forward to January of this year, I had had enough of saying "I can't." I entered the year ready to set some big goals for myself, both personally and professionally. One of my personal goals was to improve my performance at the gym. I could see how my mindset was limiting me. I knew I had potential at the gym, but that I would only go as far as my mind would let me.

I pulled out my journal and wrote my intentions for this year, which included doing pull ups. You guys, I have never done a pull up in my life, except maybe in the elementary school Presidential Physical Fitness Challenge - but honestly I can't even be sure I did one back then. So basically, it's been thirty years since my hypothetical pull ups.

It was time to get out of my own way, to shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. And you know what happened? I started trying to do pull ups. Now let me tell you, I failed. A lot. Like couldn't pull myself up at all. It was discouraging and hard, but I was determined not to give up.

During a particular workout which called for an insane amount of pull-ups, my coach encouraged me to try just one. She made some suggestions on the best way to do it, so I gave it a go. Doing the ugliest switch grip kipping pull up possible, I got my chin up over the bar. I dropped to the ground elated.  

My coach encouraged me to try another, so I did. "Just one more," I thought. Over the course of the remaining 12 minutes on the time clock, I managed 14 pullups. Fourteen, one-at-a-time pull ups. They were ugly. Like, so ugly. And it felt like it took me forever (because it did), but dammit I did them. 

That workout gave me enough confidence that I now try to do at least a few pull ups every time a workout calls for them. They are still so far from pretty or perfect, but I am trying! 

Had I continued in that fixed mindset, I never, ever would have tried them and never would have felt the sense of accomplishment and joy that I felt that day I first did one.

NAMING YOUR FEARS

What is something you have wanted to do or accomplish, but you have been afraid to actually do? What is your equivalent to my pull up story? And what are your fears that are keeping you from actually going for it?

This is the part of the blog where I encourage you to get out a pen and paper and write them down. No really. Stop what you are doing and get out a pen and paper. Got it? Now write down one dream for yourself and write down what fears are stopping you from achieving that dream. That’s step one and two. From there, write down what your life would look like if you actually followed your dream.

Here’s what it would look like from my example above:

1. I want to be able to do pull ups.
2. I haven’t attempted pull ups because I am afraid people would see me fail and would think I was a loser for failing.
3. If I could do pull ups, I would feel stronger, and I would feel proud of myself.

Pretty simple, right? Simply writing down our fears and naming them make them lose power.

But there’s more we can do if we really want to accomplish our dreams. From the list, we have two choices:

1. We can complete those three steps and stop there, and never actually do the thing we most want to do. This would be having a fixed mindset: avoiding the challenge, not doing something that would make us uncomfortable, and saying, “I can’t.”
2. Or we could take the last statement where we wrote down what our lives would look like if we accomplished the goal, and we can turn it into an “I am” statement. My example would be taking what I wrote for number three and beginning to say to myself, “I am strong,” and “I am proud of myself for doing pull ups.” I don’t even have to attempt a pull up before I say those things to myself. But you know what saying those things does for me? They help me believe in myself, and they help me go for it. They become my mantra, if you will, and from there, I can embrace a growth mindset where I look forward to a challenge, see potential failure as an opportunity for growth, and start saying, “I can.”

With just a little bit of work, we can face our fears and then anything is possible.

KEEP GROWING

It is only through having a growth mindset, in my opinion, that we can continue to evolve in all areas of our life. I don’t believe I will ever get to a place in my life where I say with ease and comfort, “Well, I am now the best version of myself in every way.  I have it all together mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.”

Can you imagine saying that about your life? No? I didn’t think so.

Our options are to accept the status quo, or to evolve. And I’m all for evolving. How about you?

Until next time,

Jeri Austin