Learning How to be Patient is a Process

When I was little, my nickname was Patience.

No, I didn’t have any patience.

Yes, my dad was being sarcastic.

If patience is a virtue, well then, I guess that made me…unvirtuous?

Even to this day, having patience is difficult for me sometimes. Like, why can’t everything happen right now when I want it to?

Okay, that made me sound like I’m still about five years old. I swear I’m not that impatient all the time. But every once in a while that little girl in me comes back in and stomps her foot and wonders why things aren’t getting done any faster.

Learning how to be patient though, has been a real game changer for me.

MY TIMING IS JUST MY TIMING

Learning how to be patient has been a process for me. 

First, I had to realize that my timing was just that – my timing. This applies for big things and small things. Who am I to set the rules on how fast or slow something should take?

I get impatient when people don’t make decisions as quickly as I think they should. Spoiler alert: not everyone is good at making decisions. I am though, so sometimes I struggle with the time it takes for someone else to make up her mind.

Or when I want to lose 5 pounds and it doesn’t just all come off by the end of the first week of “eating right” and going to the gym. Oof does that get me feeling impatient. (I’m sure that one sounds familiar to some of you.)

And traffic that’s not driving as fast as I think they should. Move over, I have places to be!

There are also things like: I want to be debt free YESTERDAY; I want to write a book TWENTY YEARS AGO; or I want to go on vacation like RIGHT NOW.

My timing is just my timing, and it can often be unrealistic. Sometimes very unrealistic.

LOOKING AT THE BIGGER PICTURE

The second part of learning how to be patient has been to look at the bigger picture.

I know I am most impatient when my focus is narrowed in on what I want to change right this very second. When I can zoom out and really evaluate the situation, I can see that there is often a process to getting the outcome I desire.

Do I want to be debt free, for example? I have to:

• Put pen to paper and evaluate my income and expenses.
• Create a budget and actually stick to it.
• Hustle to make more money, or cut out some unnecessary expenses. Or I may have to do both.
• Be realistic with the time it’s going to take, and not give up halfway through the journey.
• Stick to my budget. I can’t splurge or live beyond my means repeatedly, because that will never get me out of debt.
• See the bigger picture and learn to be patient with the process.

And if I celebrate the wins along the way – paying off debts and acknowledging how far I’ve come – then having patience becomes easier.

The same process goes for anything else I want to do that I get impatient for the end result to arrive. 

Even something as simple as waiting on someone to make a decision. The bigger picture is exactly what I said above. Not everyone is good making decisions. My impatience steals their right to take their time to come to their own decision.

I am a gifted decision-maker (that’s a thing, right?), however I know that I have plenty of shortcomings or areas where I’m not as confident. I wouldn’t want to feel rushed through those things or made to not feel good enough. So I owe it to other people to give them the grace to be themselves and make decisions just as fast or as slow as they want to.

WHAT PATIENCE LOOKS LIKE

Joyce Meyer said, “Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting,” and I believe that statement to be so true.

When I am waiting for someone to make a decision, for example, am I standing there tapping my foot or drumming my fingers on my desk? No. Am I bugging someone for a decision? No. I can speak my truth on the situation, and then I while I wait for their decision, I do the next thing in front of me.

This could be moving on in our conversation to something else. It could be doing the dishes if they need to be done. Or getting the rest of my work done. It could be getting a good night’s sleep or going to the gym.

I simply do what is in front of me and I trust that the person will come to their decision when they are ready. I can set a boundary and ask for a decision by a certain time, but until that time comes, I move on and do whatever is in front of me.

MAKING PROGRESS

Learning how to be patient is something that has changed my life tremendously. It has allowed me to sit back and let things unfold instead of forcing whatever outcome I believe should happen.

I am definitely not perfect, but I am making progress. Some days, my nickname could still be Patience to this day, even at 38 years old. But I’m a heck of a lot better than I was yesterday.

What’s something you’re impatient about, and how do you overcome that feeling?? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

Until next time,

Jeri Austin