It was a year ago today that my boyfriend Greg and I spent time together for the first time. Call it a first date. Call it whatever. We met at the gym for a leg workout, and thank God too, because that’s the only muscle group I feel that I can exercise with any real confidence. We had such a great time – he pushed me to work harder that day, and I loved it. He walked me to my car and kissed me in the parking lot and it was the beginning of us.
I remember that day so vividly. I remember how I felt in the gym and in the parking lot. I remember wanting to know him, to know more about him and what made him who he was.
I love that we got our start at the gym. It was a place that was always so important to us. It was a struggle for me to return there after he died though. It took weeks to step back in the building, but now I go almost every day and push myself to the best of my ability for that day. It’s not always much (no seriously, it’s not), but I love who I am when I’m there and I love remembering who we were there, too.
It’s hard to fathom the past year – all the joy and all the recent sorrow. So much has happened. So much has changed. I am not who I was a year ago, but I have so much gratitude for all that I am today.
I wish more than anything Greg was still alive. There wasn’t enough time. I don’t have enough memories or pictures or videos. I think no matter how much time had passed, I would feel it wasn’t enough. But I’m so grateful for all that I got. I’m better because of him. I’m better because he pushed me then, and he pushes me now. And that’s something to hold on to.
Hug your people. Tell them you love them. Life is precious and there are no guarantees of tomorrow.
Until next time,
Jeri Austin
A Growth Mindset 
Leave a comment