It’s no secret that I’ve been walking through a grief journey these past three and a half months. Some days feel easy (if that’s even the right word), and other days are so incredibly difficult.
This past Sunday, I was a bridesmaid in a dear friend’s wedding. She asked me to be apart of her wedding party earlier this year, before my life changed so dramatically.
I’d be a liar if I said celebrating someone else’s love story wasn’t one of the difficult days – a reminder of what I’ve lost and what I’ll never have with the someone I thought I’d have it with. As I participated in her wedding festivities on Sunday, it was hard not to think of myself and my grief. It was hard to be present, or as present as I wish I could have been – as present as the Jeri that I was before May 25 would have been.
On the other hand, I’d also be a liar if I didn’t say how much I appreciate my friends for loving me where I’m at right now, for me being able to show up for other people even when it’s hard, and for God’s love and grace carrying me through it all. Sunday was not only a celebration of my friend’s romantic love, but also a testament to the platonic love of friendship and how we show up for each other. It was a testament to God’s never ending love and how He is always there for me, especially in the moments when I am at my weakest.
I have so much gratitude for my life, even if it’s not what I thought it would look like right now. I have so much gratitude for love and for getting to bear witness to how that takes shape in other people’s lives and for how it is still present in my life, even if it’s in a different capacity. I also have a lot of gratitude for a day to get my hair and makeup done, to dress up and feel pretty after months of feeling anything but that.
I know God has plans for my life that are bigger than I can even imagine – I know that, even though some times it’s hard to accept. One day at a time, I put my faith in Him.
One day at a time, I learn. One day at a time, I grow. One day at a time, I heal.
Until next time,
Jeri Austin
A Growth Mindset 
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