I Am Worth It, and I’m Not Too Old

Guest blog post by Julie Shropshire

CrossFit. IYKYK, am I right?

Just kidding.

I’m going to tell you a story about a middle-aged broad who resisted change, and resisted CrossFit, because she didn’t have the right mindset.

Okay. It’s me. I’m the middle-aged broad.

WHAT IT WAS LIKE

Back in March of 2016, my husband retired from the military after almost 24 years.

He was overweight. Unhealthy.

I was overweight. Unhealthy.

He’d spent the last two years of his military career avoiding PT (physical training) and PT tests; I had a garbage thyroid and a three-a-day venti mocha frappuccino addiction. I cooked most of our meals at home, and we ate fruits and vegetables, but we also ordered in/out, and……that whole frappuccino thing……we didn’t move our bodies in any meaningful way, either.

So we chugged along for 2016. My husband was becoming deeply unhappy, and he didn’t want to be “the fat retired guy” working with colleagues who knew him from his active duty military days. He also didn’t want to have a heart attack at age 42. We still had our children at home, three still under the age of 18 – the youngest just eight. So in December of 2016, he Googled “CrossFit” in our area.

And in early January of 2017, he signed up with Koda Native CrossFit. He’s been a member ever since. He’s lost over 60 pounds and has since joined a mixed martial arts gym. He works out multiple times a day, every day except Sunday. I watched his transformation with awe and pride. As those first months went by, the physical changes were slow, but mentally, he was happier, in a much better place. He started asking me to join him at CrossFit.

HARD PASS

“You should come with me,” he’d say, “you’d love it. The coaches and other members are super nice, and you can scale the movements!”

No. Hard pass. Nope. I knew I needed something, but I’d tried CrossFit before when we lived in Texas. Nah bro.

Okay, once. One class. And I couldn’t sit down for a week. Rather, once I sat down, I couldn’t get BACK UP. (Upon reflection, that was my own fault for not listening to the coaches. I did the whole workout of the day, to include 100 air squats.) I had PTSD for months. JUST KIDDING. But no lie, I let it break me and vowed never to return to The CrossFits.

Besides. I was taking my thyroid medication every day, but still couldn’t lose weight. (Never mind that I was eating like garbage, not moving my body, and DRINKING THREE VENTI SUGAR BOMBS A DAY.) CrossFit was too much. A cult. Too hard. I didn’t know anyone there. I also had severe diastasis recti and couldn’t sneeze without peeing myself. No.

He kept asking me.

“It would be really fun for us to do it together.”

I had my retort ready.

“Well, there are like ten million other things we can do together besides CrossFit. That can be your thing. You know, like……couples need to have separate hobbies and activities.”

(Oh, the excuses I made.)

But looking back, I know I was scared. I didn’t want to change. I didn’t think I could do it. I thought I hated CrossFit. I was stagnant…content with the status quo…another day…another frappuccino. (Or three.)

WHAT HAPPENED

My husband, bless him, did not stop asking me to go.

For three years.

THREE.

YEARS.

I kept resisting, he kept asking. Kindly. Nicely. With no judgement when I said “no.” (And even when I said “oh my GOD, HELL NO AND STOP ASKING ME UGH YOU ARE GETTING ON MY VERY LAST NERVE.”)

Thanksgiving 2019 rolls around. He’s coming up on his three year anniversary at Koda Native. They were offering a free “friends and family” workout on Thanksgiving morning. He asked me again. “PLEASE GO WITH ME!” He smiled.

And this time, I paused just long enough for him to add, “I’ll never ask you to go again, if you’ll just go THIS ONE TIME.” I considered it…then said, “So say I go, just this once, and then you’ll stop asking me to go?” I was prepared to hate every second of it, but this was my chance to get him to – ONCE AND FOR ALL – stfu about it. He shrugged and said, “I promise. I’ll never ask you again.”

I said yes.

And he definitely said “I told you so” when it turned out that……I loved it.

I couldn’t string three sit ups together.
I couldn’t do burpees.
I couldn’t do a lot.
But what I could do was show up. And keep showing up.

A CHANGED ATTITUDE

So what changed?

My attitude. My outlook. I’d been scared to try, scared to change, I thought I was too old. Too broken. Well….I was wrong. Once I went, I found that all I needed was to try, move my body, and just “do what I could.” That first class was all it took and suddenly:

I wanted to be healthier.
I wanted to be stronger.
I wanted a new life.
I wanted to grow.
I wanted to kick my own ass for waiting so long.

I started slow. I called myself The CrossFit Kindergartner. I had to scale the scaled movements. I peed my pants a lot. I couldn’t even run 200 meters. I couldn’t do any assault biking without feeling like I was going. to. die. Pull ups just made me laugh.

“Yeah, like this body will ever pull up on anything besides a drive-thru!”

I fussed during workouts. I cried. I cussed. The coaches were SO patient with me. “You’re doing great! Just keep moving! You’ve got this!”

Weeks turned into months. COVID happened. The gym had to close. But I didn’t quit, and Koda provided workouts and virtual classes for members to do at home, and even loaned out essentially ALL of their equipment so people could continue. By summer 2020, I’d lost 20 pounds. Koda Native opened back up.

My endurance had improved. And I made an effort to not bitch, because I realized how much it meant to me to have a Koda Native to go to. But it was still so HARD. I forced myself to be more positive.

“Just keep trying.”

“Just keep showing up.”

TOTAL OVERHAUL

My one year anniversary at Native came around in November 2020. I’d made so many amazing friends, my health was improving, and I was mentally and physically feeling so much better.

I had little muscles developing. I was really doing it.

In December, I wanted to level up. I needed to do more, because my weight loss had stalled and I knew I wasn’t dropping the more dangerous visceral fat around my belly. So I signed up with Manage My Macros, for macros and nutrition coaching. I quickly learned that I had not been eating near enough calories. My coach helped me sort out a nutrition plan, with goals to burn fat and build muscle. With the new nutrition, combined with my continued workouts at Native, I started seeing my body composition change.

I’ve just completed six months of nutrition coaching, and I have a much better handle on how to fuel my body, get enough sleep, drink enough water, take rest days, and check in with myself. But I’m not anywhere near done.

This has been a total overhaul. A lifestyle change that I will continue for the rest of my life. A shift in my mindset: I am worth it, and I’m not too old. We’re never “too anything” to change and/or grow. I can’t wait to see what my body – and mind – can do.

WHAT IT’S LIKE NOW

I competed in my first CrossFit competition back in April (with Jeri, and our friend Sam) and I NEVER DREAMED I’d do that, not in a million years.

I’ve lost a total of 40 pounds, several inches, and my old habits/attitudes.

Don’t let anything keep you from showing up for yourself. Just try. Start small. You can absolutely do it. You’d be amazed at what you’re capable of.

I know I am.
I don’t pee when I jump rope or when I do sit ups anymore.
I can do over 50 sit ups in a row – at least.
I regularly do the longer runs – 400 meters, 800 meters.
I can deadlift almost twice my body weight.
My diastasis recti is much improved.
I love burpees.
I can and will continue to improve. To grow. To challenge myself.
My attitude is so much better.

But the best part?

I got an unassisted pull-up.

---

Julie Shropshire is a military (ret) wife, mother of four, granny-to-be, writer, and Schitt’s Creek addict. She enjoys hats, deadlift day at the gym, Quentin Tarantino’s entire film collection, coffee, and cosplaying Moira Rose. She has published one book, Blood Girl, about her experiences while working as a cultural role player, training the U.S. military at NTC, Fort Irwin, California.