It’s Okay to Cancel Plans Sometimes

It’s okay to cancel plans sometimes. I’m not suggesting that you become the flakiest member of your family, or that you become the kind of person that your friends can’t rely on. Heck, if you call in to work all the time, you’ll likely get fired, and I’m not in any way suggesting that you do that.

But what I am suggesting is that sometimes, it is okay to back out of a commitment that you made because you just need to stay home and rest. 

Some days we have everything together – we are positive, our mental health issues feel under control, we’ve had enough sleep, we’ve eaten well, our relationships are all going perfectly, or stress in at an all-time low. Then other days, we may be lacking in one or more areas. And that’s okay. The question we have to then ask ourselves is, “What do I need to do to take care of myself today?”

Sometimes that means getting out of the house and putting one foot in front of the other and rising to whatever the occasion is. We want to be the kind of person who follows through with our commitments. We want to be someone who is reliable, dependable, and has the integrity to have their words and actions align.

But we also want to be the kind of person who takes care of ourselves.

So sometimes that means cancelling plans and staying home. And sometimes that means that once we are home, we don’t do anything productive at all. 

It means taking a mental health day from work, or leaving early if we can’t take a whole day off. 

It means skipping a crowded party if we feel overwhelmed by “peopling” today. 

It means letting the chores go undone around the house if you need to do something to relax instead.

It means saying:

“I’m sorry, I just don’t feel up to it today. Can we reschedule?”

“I wish I could follow through with my commitment, but I really need to change our plans.”

“I’m feeling sick and so wish I could come today like I said, but I need to cancel.”

“I’m struggling with my mental health today and really need to stay home to reset.”

“Today I’m not my best self, so I need to rearrange my day and do some things differently.”

Staying home is not an excuse to isolate.

I’ll say that one more time.

Staying home is not an excuse to isolate.

It’s not a pass to stay home for days and not let anyone know what is going on with you. That’s not the point of all of this. Isolation will do far more harm than good, and is just not a healthy way to handle whatever you are going through. This is permission though, if you need it, to do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

And another thing – Changing your plans also means giving yourself grace when you have to do it. It means not thinking you’re a loser or somehow defective because you are having a hard day. It means not beating yourself up or thinking your worthless. It means letting go of all the things you have to do to focus on what you need in that moment – whether that’s sleep or doing something to take care of your mental health or taking a walk in nature to clear your mind or going to the gym as a stress relief or whatever it is.

It’s okay to cancel plans some times.

If you are a person who struggles to do that, this is your permission. Not that you need it, but I give it to you freely and with love and encouragement. This is your permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Until next time,

Jeri Austin

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