An Unexpected Turn

My life seems to have turned upside down. I have been absent from my blog for some time now, unable to find any words to write that I have felt would be any value to you, the reader.

For weeks, I walked through a heavy season of depression. I was a ghost, a shadow of myself. I felt untethered to the world. I felt hopeless. I felt like I didn’t exist. I contemplated ending my life more than a person should, which, I know, is never. Never should the end even be considered as an option.

I sought help from my doctor. I have been taking medication for my depression for over 14 years. It has been a miracle in my life, and there’s not a day that goes by that I take it for granted. I know that for a person like me, to go unmedicated would mean disastrous consequences. My doctor adjusted my dosage when I asked for help, and I felt almost immediate relief.

With a firmer grasp on reality, my life took an unexpected turn. I have entered into a new season, the one I now walk through – a season of separation and divorce.

No one ever gets married thinking they will one day get divorced. I certainly didn’t. When I said I do, I meant it and had such hopes and dreams for my family and my future. It would seem, though, that that future is cut short, our story now taking a different turn. 

I am sad for the loss of the future I thought I would have – for the places I thought I’d go, for the company I thought I’d keep. But I know that this decision is the best decision, even though it breaks my heart.

That is where I’ve been and where I am today. I don’t know what the future holds for A Growth Mindset. I have deactivated my social media and feel uninspired to share any encouragement for growth to anyone, and am instead using all my energy to propel myself forward with the best attitude I can muster.

I hope you all know how much value you have to this world, and I hope you all know that if you ever find yourself in the darkest of seasons like I have, that there is help out there available.

Until next time,

Jeri Austin

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